Elaine Montilla, 41

#MyTherapyJourney

Elaine Montilla, 41

📍New York, New York

“I've worked in Information Technology for 20 years now and after my second promotion into management, I started to deal with imposter syndrome. I kept thinking that I wasn't the right person for the job and that they probably made a mistake by promoting me into such a high management position at the time. I used to worry about my performance and wonder if at some point someone was going to discover that I wasn't as good as they thought I was. I realized that I was a perfectionist and always scared to make mistakes and fail at anything.

My therapist helped me uncover the lies I was telling myself and how to observe my thoughts during the day without attachment. She helped me by focusing on the facts instead of the thoughts. I started by writing a list of all of my accomplishments and the hard work that let others see my value. My therapist helped me develop a new relationship to failure and mistakes which I was terrified of. After a few sessions I was able to develop a new script and understand that failure was only a new opportunity to start again but now from experience. Today, I do a lot of visualization and mentor others which confirms the value I bring to not only my work but to others in my life. I no longer wait to be ready to get started, I start and the confidence comes while I push myself knowing that I'm not perfect and nobody else is. I'm compassionate with myself and I'm forever thankful for the support I received from my amazing therapist.”